Ek Bojh...

Usne hastey hastey hi kaha par dil mein kahi chhoob gaya... Ek current sa dauda rago mein, ek sihran si hui badan mein aur aankhen namm ho gayi... Bahot dard ho raha hain... Kya main sach mooch uska ghar barbaad kar raha tha... Shaayad haan kyunki ab toh log bhi kehne lage hain par maine toh kabhi apni hadd paar nahi ki, kabhi koi cheez expect nahi ki... Kyun soch soch kar mera guilt se dum ghoota jaa raha hain... Maine kitni padhai ki thi, kitna kuch yaad kiya tha usey bataane ke liye, samjhaane ke liye, sirf ek sentence ne saara ka saara dimaag se rub out kar diya... Pata nahi kyun mujhe chain nahi ho raha hain... Maine toh sirf pyar kiya hain, badley mein na kuch chaaha na maanga... Agar main sach mooch usey pyar karta hoon toh kyun usey embarras karta hoon logo'n ke saamne... Mujhe nahi karna chaahiye aisa... Main maafi maangta hoon us se, mujhe apni galti ka ehsaas ho gaya hain... Samajh gaya hoon ke pyar karna galat hain... Maine decide kiya hain ab meri wajah se wo kabhi embarras nahi hogi... Main uske liye aisa sawaal nahi ban-na chaahta jiska uske paas koi jawab na ho... Usne mujhe rokne ke liye kitne scheme kiye par main ruka nahi lekin uske muh se nikle us sentence ne mujhe mere saanson ke saath wohi rok diya... Ab toh main dekh raha hoon usey apne se door khushi khushi jaate huye, dil dukh raha hain, ro raha hain par khush hain ke wo kitni khush hain door jaate huye... Agar maalom hota ke wo door jaane se itni khush hogi toh main kab ka ruk gaya hota... Saath toh hum kabhi chale hi nahi, wo hamesha aagey thi aur main uske peechey ye umeed mein ki kab wo kahe ke mere saath chalo mujhe tumhari zaroorat hain... Main bhool gaya tha ya shaayad andhaa ho gaya tha apne khudgarz pyar mein ke ye dekh nahi paaya ke uske haathon mein kisi apne ka haath hain... Main toh koi bhi nahi uska... Na kabhi tha uska na kabhi ho sakoonga uska... Uski chaahat koi aur hain, uski zaroorat koi aur hain... Na toh main uski chaahat hoon na main uski zaroorat hoon... Ab toh bas usi jagah par khadey huye dil mein guilt ka ek bojh liye; aankhon mein kuch boond liye; hothon par muskurahat liye dekh raha hoon; usey apne se door jaatey huye, kuch deir mein wo aankhon se ojhal ho jaayegi, reh jaayenge mere saath uske kuch ehsaas, kuch yaadein, kuch tasveerein, din-ba-din badhta pyar aur ek umeed ke wo palat kar dekhegi kabhi...